1. You queue up, not line up, for everything

2. Everyone orders food for himself, never platters to share. You don’t share your food or get from other people’s plates

3. Instead of offering food, you offer to make hot drinks for them

4. Tea is always, always with milk

5. The following are food: pigs in blankets, butty, chippy, toad in a hole, and mushy peas

6. “Hi, you alright?” is their version of “Hello, kumusta?”

7. Say sorry for everything e.g. when someone bumps into you in a busy street or they’re blocking you in the grocery aisle

8. Keep left

9. It rains every day but they still complain about the weather. An umbrella is always handy

10. You can drink at lunch

11. Every girl has an MK

12. Not all British accents are posh

13. Surgery is hospital, chemist is drug store, holiday is leave, and leave is permission

14. There’s only two popcorn flavours in the cinema — salt and sweet

15. It’s flavour and colour and favour and parlour; Say vaz for vase and veetamin for vitamin, or filet for fillet

16. Barely any security guards around

17. The following are money: quid, fiver, tenner

18. If your allocated bin (garbage can) is overflowing, the excess won’t get picked up so you’re forced to recycle (separate real trash from paper, bottles, and cans)

19. Trains close a minute before. When you’re late, you’re late

20. The following are foul words: rubbish, bollocks, donkey, bloody, sod off

And of course, their humour is dry. But people are lovely.

 

(Unseen little things)

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About hellopenville

Writing is my one true north. (The other is eating spaghetti. I make the best pastas in the whole world I swear!) I have been writing since age 10. I remember being in another school a lot because of Campus Journalism contests. I was a grade-school copyreader, headline-writer, and feature writer, who emerged to be a college editorial writer and eventually a TV news writer. However, I have always been an insecure artist. These constant condescending thoughts always stopped me from creating: “No one would read this.” “This has been written before and therefore no one would read this.” “This is not interesting enough and therefore no one would read this.” “This is not relevant, or factual, or trendy enough and therefore no one would read this.” But I learned to risk to write even if no one reads it, than not to have written anything at all. To resist writing is to resist truth itself, to betray that which comes freely to you when you do not allow it to be manifested through you. I didn’t think writing was serious work. But every time I thought about writing, it would make me nervous. It would rattle me and frighten me. I would shake the ground under me. Aren’t dreams like that too? Read more at penville.net.

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